There's a movie coming out called "The ugly truth.' I just watched the trailer for this movie. It looks like a cute little chick flick and I will probably go to the movies and see it.
But a couple of days ago I went with a girlfriend of mine to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I made snide comments throughout the entire movie and although my girlfriend laughed, when the movie ended and the lights went up, there were only two dry eyes in the room and they were both on my face...
So, why did this movie do nothing for me and everything for others? Well, beside the fact we are all human (which is always my first reason for everything) and we experience the same things differently, my friends had another reason. I'm jaded. I say this word constantly in reference to myself, but what does it really mean? Dulled. Worn out. Wearied. Lacking enthusiasm. Exhausted. Cynically insensitive. Made callous by experience. Yes, yes I am.
So, this is my ugly truth, I want to believe in love. What girl doesn't? I want to believe that some guy will make me forget myself and fall so deeply in love and trust that I surrender to him and to love. I want to believe.
I beleive. I beleive. It's silly, but I believe...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
and in an instant it was gone...(Oakland's sorrow)
(this is taken from my blog on www.myspace.com/anitastout)
And in an instant it was gone... The father of this little child. The son of a mother. The peace in the Oakland streets. The coming together of America's black and white. The thought that racism was leaving us. The belief that the police are here to protect and to serve. The post racial America from Obama's win. The life of another man...
And in an instant it was gone... The father of this little child. The husband of a wife. The career he wanted to make. The good he had ever done before this day when he took the life of another man...
Pray for both families as they have lost young men...
Peace & Love.
And in an instant it was gone... The father of this little child. The son of a mother. The peace in the Oakland streets. The coming together of America's black and white. The thought that racism was leaving us. The belief that the police are here to protect and to serve. The post racial America from Obama's win. The life of another man...
And in an instant it was gone... The father of this little child. The husband of a wife. The career he wanted to make. The good he had ever done before this day when he took the life of another man...
Pray for both families as they have lost young men...
Peace & Love.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Daddy's Quote
"It's not what happens to you but what happens in you that matters."
What has happened to you? What was the one thing that impacted your life so deeply that it changed the vitals of who you are, the composition of your time here on earth, your life's dna? Think back to that time. I remember. It changed my view of the people around me. It Changed my view on God. It changed my view on me. I allowed something that happened to me to make fundamental changes in me.
I was just a young girl, less than 20 years of age. The people I looked up to, the people who helped shaped my belief in God, and honestly myself, had betrayed the very root of what I considered faith. How could they? Why would they? I became angry. I became sad. I became different. I allowed it to change who I was on the inside. I allowed it to take root into my soul. I allowed it... The truth is it changed my lifes course. What another did should not have shaken me. But, because I was a child I didn't understand that other people's decisions are not direct reflections on me. I carried the hurt around like baggage. I let it twist the way I viewed future relationships and even the way I spoke to God.
We often times let things get to us, get to our core and become part of us. We carry things with no merrit. We allow the actions of others to change our path. We allow others to change our life view. We allow others...
It was only recently that I asked God to forgive me for holding anger at people so tight. I also asked Him to forgive me for carrying it with me. It changed my life, again, but this time for the better and this time it truly mattered.
We can lose a lot of things, and in the grande skeem of life it won't really matter. We can lose posessions, we can lose money and we can lose people. It's how we relate those losses to our life that makes us who we are. Remember what's inportant and only allow those things to shape the essentials of you.
Peace & Love
What has happened to you? What was the one thing that impacted your life so deeply that it changed the vitals of who you are, the composition of your time here on earth, your life's dna? Think back to that time. I remember. It changed my view of the people around me. It Changed my view on God. It changed my view on me. I allowed something that happened to me to make fundamental changes in me.
I was just a young girl, less than 20 years of age. The people I looked up to, the people who helped shaped my belief in God, and honestly myself, had betrayed the very root of what I considered faith. How could they? Why would they? I became angry. I became sad. I became different. I allowed it to change who I was on the inside. I allowed it to take root into my soul. I allowed it... The truth is it changed my lifes course. What another did should not have shaken me. But, because I was a child I didn't understand that other people's decisions are not direct reflections on me. I carried the hurt around like baggage. I let it twist the way I viewed future relationships and even the way I spoke to God.
We often times let things get to us, get to our core and become part of us. We carry things with no merrit. We allow the actions of others to change our path. We allow others to change our life view. We allow others...
It was only recently that I asked God to forgive me for holding anger at people so tight. I also asked Him to forgive me for carrying it with me. It changed my life, again, but this time for the better and this time it truly mattered.
We can lose a lot of things, and in the grande skeem of life it won't really matter. We can lose posessions, we can lose money and we can lose people. It's how we relate those losses to our life that makes us who we are. Remember what's inportant and only allow those things to shape the essentials of you.
Peace & Love
Thursday, January 15, 2009
my life til this point
So, I have been inspired to create my own blogspot. I hope that everyone who crosses my path from here on out will be able to take something and give something.
Just a brief bio...
My name is Anita. I live in Jacksonville, FL. I love deeply and hate even deeper :-)
I'm a self proclaimed shameless boy-a-holic, but I'm working on not... I love singing and writing music. I play piano and sing lead in a local group that plays here and there in the St. Augustine/Jacksonville area.
I have two parents, still married after 45 years, three sisters, two married each with four children.
I just wanted to introduce myself to you. Please feel free to do the same!
Peace
Just a brief bio...
My name is Anita. I live in Jacksonville, FL. I love deeply and hate even deeper :-)
I'm a self proclaimed shameless boy-a-holic, but I'm working on not... I love singing and writing music. I play piano and sing lead in a local group that plays here and there in the St. Augustine/Jacksonville area.
I have two parents, still married after 45 years, three sisters, two married each with four children.
I just wanted to introduce myself to you. Please feel free to do the same!
Peace
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